Repost of my 2023 physics camp bio, with some additions. For the straight details of my journey, see my 2022 camp bio.
I’ve always been interested in physics, but in the past couple years, physics has become my life~
Hahaha. That’s such an idealized view of passion that that phrase, or variations of it (replace physics with any other interest: astronomy, math, etc.), has become somewhat of an inside joke among my schoolmates (it stemmed from a presentation in which my friend used that as an opening line, which we found hilarious). But the funny thing is, my autobiography from last year can probably be reduced to that sentence. I wrote about my initial amazement, my continued fascination, my wondrous exploration, and very little about the grind—when it felt like physics didn’t love me back, when it was more about the progress than the physics.
I do indeed love physics very much. I love that it provides such exact, complete, and mathematical explanations about our world. Explanations that let you stare out the window, look at the rainbow (USAPhO 2022/A3!), and say, “I know why.” From the firing of neurons (USAPhO 2019/B1!) to the shimmering colors on a CD, being able to draw a line of reasoning back to basic principles in physics is so inherently satisfying for me. This is passion. If it weren’t for this inherent enjoyment I found, I wouldn’t have been able to keep coming back and keep learning enough to get to this point.
But the other half of my journey was something different—it was drive. I remember sections of red Morin where I most definitely was not feeling that fire for physics burning in my chest. But I pushed through and read through the gritty details and slugged through the algebra, chasing that punchline at the end of the section / chapter (e.g. angular momentum works!). And especially in the week or two before the USAPhO, this feeling of drive would take over, leaving a pile of finished practice tests on my workspace. And this behavior of course derived from the fact that the USAPhO is a competition, not from any inherent enjoyment of physics.
I mention this because I think this part of studying, especially in the context of academic competitions, is rarely talked about. In general, we like to present our journeys as neat and tidy and smooth-sailing—like my opening line—because that’s a lot more aesthetically pleasing. But the reality is, physics hasn’t become my life. I like to do other things as well (like blogging :P), and there are times when these other activities may be more appealing than physics. That’s when the external motivation and drive kicks in—whether this stems from wanting to make more progress and get to the next “level” of physics knowledge1 or from participating in the physics Olympiads.
I also like to believe that this isn’t an exclusive experience. As an example, Kobe Bryant was famous for his love for the game, but more for his incredible dedication and drive—mamba mentality. It’s not always pure passion and fun. And this makes sense. For a more general example, even hanging out with friends isn’t infinitely fun—your social battery drains and you may want a break. The same should apply to anything you do, approximately.
So, being driven is natural, but what do you do when it feels like you’ve lost passion and only been left with drive? I always find it helpful to go back to where it started. I sit back, look at the physics I’ve learned in the last “grind”, and try to find the little things that connect to our real world (atmospheric physics from thermodynamics! Rings of Saturn from the tidal forces!). These little applications are what drew me in in the first place! And as I do, I’m reminded of the little moments of discovery and awe throughout my life: watching my physics club advisor create sparks with steel balls on paper, my 6th grade science laser lab, and reading the Magic School Bus. These moments (passion) were what got me on physics in the first place, and it’s chasing those moments (drive) that have kept me around all these years. So, I guess to summarize, I’m just trying to say my journey with physics was a combination of passion and drive, and I think that’s OK—your journey doesn’t have to be purely squeezed from passion2 for you to do well at something or even just to enjoy something.
In the past couple years, physics hasn’t become my life, but I’ll always be interested in physics~
That’s better.
I see this as being attracted to the feeling of progress rather than physics itself, which is more on the drive side. I think it’s totally fine though!
Passion fruit juice, perhaps.